For I Am Trash

And to Trash I Shall Return

86 notes





I have come back from the grave to BANISH THE MILK JOKE FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH


Because that’s how abusers work that is what they do that is how it is

You saw a blatant display of power by an abuser over his victim but you didn’t know that yet. You didn’t know that till he gave him the order to find Steve and Natasha. Till he killed Renata. Maybe you didn’t even really get it till the vault scene, and you know what, that’s fine. I’ll give you that, because I hold out hope that most people have never lived through an abusive relationship of any kind.

But by the end of that movie it was painfully clear that Pierce was the villain, a genocidal, sadistic, amoral man who didn’t give a damn about murdering a trusted employee, torturing a ghost or killing one of his best friends. NOTHING PIERCE DOES IS OKAY AND THE MILK JOKE IS NOT FUNNY AND THE REASON YOU LAUGHED IS BECAUSE YOU WERE UNCOMFORTABLE AND FREAKED OUT BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE DO IN THE MOMENT BUT IT’S. NOT. FUNNY.

THIS. JUST….THIS.You see and you don’t understand and that’s excusable because that’s exactly what Pierce and people like him COUNT ON. Seems harmless, seems funny, and how are you to know any different if you don’t understand the complexities of the situation? BUT WHEN YOU DO, WHEN IT IS EXPLAINED TO YOU WHY THIS IS BAD, WHY IT IS SICK AND TWISTED AND EVIL YOU HAVE A MORAL OBLIGATION TO REASSESS YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS GODDAMNIT.

Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what the “milk joke” is. Is it a reference to the actual scene between Alexander Pierce and the Winter Soldier in CA:TWS (which wasn’t something I’d consider a ‘joke;’ to me, it imparted a strong sense of cognitive dissonance), or the fandom’s response to it (I’ve seen some Bucky+milk fanart which didn’t make much sense to me)?

I’m sure I’d agree with this rant if I understood what it’s about. Would someone please explain the problem to me?

I am pretty sure that the milk joke refers to either Pierce’s line “You want some milk?” within the scene itself or the fandom’s tendency to mock the very small amount that Pierce pours into the glass.  Which, yeah, both make me laugh.

Let me be clear: I understand that the scene is a display of twisted, evil, and abusive power dynamics.  I get that offering the Winter Soldier a glass of milk is mocking his inability to choose for himself and highlighting his subservience.  Hell, I wrote a fic that contained that scene from the Soldier’s point of view and I all but wrote him having a panic attack during that exchange because he had no idea what answer if any he was meant to give and he was expecting brutality if he gave the wrong one.  It’s not a nice exchange.

But it makes me laugh, the same way Fury’s line “You wanna see my lease?” made me laugh even though racial profiling and police brutality are very real issues.  And I believe in both instances, laughter was the film makers’ intent.  The first time Pierce offered the Soldier milk, I laughed because it was unexpected and I was tense.  The second time I knew exactly what was happening and I laughed again, because it was dark comedy to me.  I realize what the scene is portraying, I recognize why it’s wrong, I have firsthand experience with abuse, but my manner of coping with unpleasant things is laughter.  And so I giggle to myself and think “At least I’m a more capable person than Alexander Pierce” when I pour a full glass of milk, and I don’t feel bad about doing so.

Filed under Alexander Pierce Winter Soldier abuse The Winter Soldier milk want some milk?

133 notes


but can you imagine the young alexander pierce having a heart to heart with the winter soldier (◡‿◡✿)

asking him why he is restless, what he’s holding on for (◡‿◡✿)

listening the winter soldier splutter out that there’s someone coming for him, a friend, that he just has to last long enough till the friend comes (◡‿◡✿)

asking the winter soldier to tell him about the friend and watching with deep concern written on his face as the man strains his every nerve to try and piece together the odd bits of memories about the friend (◡‿◡✿)

asking the winter soldier with a broken expression whether he has forgotten him completely (◡‿◡✿)

telling him that he’s the friend and he has come and that he’s so very thankful for his loyalty (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

alexander pierce (ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿

This is so great I just wrote a fic partially based on it.

Filed under Alexander Pierce Winter Soldier fic sabacc

1 note

stevebuckybromance asked: I would like to inform you that I am that innocent person that you mentioned. I got into And I Am Always with You and wanted to see what else you had done, and then desperately wished for some mind bleach....o_0

I am so sorry I am the worst person.

Filed under stevebuckybromance ask HYDRA Trash Party

10 notes

So somehow I ended up on the recommended fics list for CA: TWS on TVTropes, and at first I was like,

"Oh that’s cool"

but then five seconds later I was like,

"Oh hell I’ve written so much trash some wholesome innocent person is going to read that all, ‘Well that was uplifting and sweet I’ll see what else she has to - SAINTS PRESERVE US’”

Filed under HYDRA Trash Party such is my legacy